A IS FOR ADHD PART 2.

We have to understand the minds of ADHD kids and that’s where the frustration lies. Imagine speaking English to someone who only understands French. Imagine someone gave you a million dollars but died before they got to tell you where the money is. A lot of frustration and anger and negative emotions will disappear; and yes that is from you before it will disappear from the child. We need to stop expecting ADHD children to think differently from who they are or to think like a “normal child” because, seriously, who defines normal?

So the next time my son runs through the kitchen and breaks a plate or spills a bottle of water, which trust me, happens a lot, I will decide to see an ADHD child, who needs my help but is frustrated that he is trying so hard and no one sees it. I stopped getting angry and saw he stopped getting angry. So you see there is a “cure” for ADHD ; it's called the rest of the people changing their views of a helpless child. I taught him how to fine tune his skills (something I thought all kids were born with). My child just needed guidance. He is not a bad kid. Don't let people give negative labels to your child. Learn more about it.

I love my ADHD child and you should to. Take responsibility. See the good. Shape the rose and prune the thorns. Don't hate the road because of the thorns. Be responsible for your kids actions and let your kid be responsible for his actions. He can be all that while being an ADHD kid. He can learn to say thank you but you have to teach him over and over and over and…. But don't look at it as a chore or failure. Look at every regression as a chance to perfect what you have learned. I reject stagnant behavior, I reject people who reject my kid but I don't reject my kid and I don't neglect to teach him and pray for him.

My son is a genius; there are many miserable people who wish they were born genius and many genius who can go by in life easier than most. I want my son to be a godly genius and care about people. He loves reading. He might triple major. It's easy to get him to love homework by challenging him, engaging him and participating with him. Accept that your child gets distracted and then find the best way to teach him not to be distracted. Educate him about himself so he can shine. My son self corrects, he understands why I tell him things but he only understands because I teach him the way he understands. I speak his language. I get down to his level. No matter how much you reject your DNA or refuse to acknowledge it, it is still part of you, it is still who you are. I look forward to the many improvements my son has and I got the best help for him.  I taught him. I taught him many things. I didn't just expect him to pick it up. I changed my behavior. I relaxed more. I played more. I tried different things. I realized shouting didn't work so I dropped it.

A concept many don't understand is listening to your child. That's not the same as letting him be the boss. Listen to your child when he says the right things the wrong way. Then, tell him the right way to say or do it. My son is an excellent builder. He has been since an early age. It is harder to teach math than to teach politeness but society rather loves a person who isn't smart in math but polite. Nothing wrong with being polite but it's not hard to teach. If you didn't know the benefits of things, you will always see negatively.  ADHD kids and sweet. They are only angry because we don't understand them. We understand we can't aggravate a lion or else they attack. ADHD can be compared to wild animals that need to be tamed (the kids are not wild animals). ADHD is awesome not scary.

I can help you too. Do you love your ADHD kid? Is there an Addhmazing Kid in your family? Join the movement and see how I can help you.

A is for ADHD (Part 1)

Now that I got that boring and “best hidden under the rug” topic of labelling out of the way, I will try and make this a less boring topic but I can’t promise. Life is a mixed bag of boring and awesome as I promise my ADHD son, after the boring stuff comes the fun reward; so bear with me.

The stereotypical labelling of ADHD is that kids are hyper. Forget that there is ADD and ADHD. While being hyper and restless is one of the factors of ADHD, it is not the only trait. Being ADHD is awesome. We get to multi task, brainstorm, be great leaders, perfect a sport ; just ask the greatest and most decorated Olympian of all time; (I want what he’s having) and Simone Biles the most decorated American gymnast.

 

I choose the label of strong; of leadership; of out of the box thinkers who change the world and who see things different from others. Why would schools want to fit every child in a box? My son wants to be a scientist, an architect, an inventor and then some. Who am I to tell him otherwise? Who am I to crush his dreams? I will do him a disservice to not get him the help he needs and to tell him he can’t do that because he is hyper or society says he can’t. Instead, I will fill his room with books on Albert Einstein, Michael Phelps and a host of others who changed the world and of course, the bible, because normal is as boring as my last post and possibly this one but I promise the next won’t be quite as.

 

ADHD is not a stomach bug that lingers too much when it ought to go away. It is something people are born with. It is not a bad behavior, it is a different behavior. A behavior that gets interesting along the way.  When I see my son pacing back and forth, I’m curious to see what intelligent thing he is about to come up with. You see, he is light years away from regular folk. Where he lacks in coordination, he very well makes up for in instruction and teaching. Where he lacks in sitting still, he very well makes up in multitasking. I am not a lazy parent who makes up excuses for my son but I am not a, well I am no longer a, worrisome parent. I spoke to God and told Him His word said children are a blessing and mine isn't acting like one. Should I say, I ought to have been ashamed of myself? Was I being a blessing by shouting at him and showing him his shortcomings? Well I prayed and meditated on His word and got to know the God I serve and what do you know, He has a label, we pray in Jesus name. He is a merciful God, yet people see Him as this tyrant and dictator. So I repented. I asked God to help me and show me the label He made my son to be.

 

ADHD kids are one of the most beautiful creatures out there. So God made me realize my child is me and I am my child. I began to ask Him to show me. I began to listen to my kid. I saw an angry kid. It was a reflection of me. You see i didn't need God I spoke to my pastor and asked him why God gave me this difficult child (mind you who am I to dictate to God) but he said trust God that my child is going to be a testimony. You see all the while, I forgot I had ADHD myself; well it's not that I forgot as much as I grew up in a country where they don't diagnose to change my kid; I needed God to change me. I had been in this world too long and my child had just got here so it's fair to say my views had been distorted. This is a kid who came from heaven with a message from God and I refused to hear it. Literally, he would give me tips on how to raise him and they worked. Who says kids don't come with instructions. Yes many looked at me weird for not spanking him at all. It's not their fault. God directed my steps.