Let’s Talk Labels

There are many scenarios which I can come up with as I sit here in front of my computer but the bottomline is the same. Where did we get the fear of labelling our kids? Don’t we label everything else? It’s like not labelling (thus not knowing the difference between) a copper snake and a grass snake. You would keep running away from a grass snake if you don’t educate yourself to know that they look alike but one is harmful and the other isn’t.

So why do we fear labelling our kids? If we don’t do them, someone else will and they will end up labelling them wrongly; and you don’t want to pick up a copper snake thinking it’s a harmless grass snake. You get the picture. Labels are good because it identifies things. Labels are misused because they restrict. Labelling empowers or destroys. Not labelling an illness doesn’t mean the illness isn’t there. You see, bleach is a bad label for bodily consumption and cooking but a great label for taking out stains.

I kept hearing don’t let them label your child. I didn’t; but I labelled him. Well I didn’t label him. He was born with a neurological disorder that was labelled already. I just identified it and empowered both of us on the topic. ADHD is not a lazy man’s disease. It is the difference between wondering why you never got good grades even when you studied a lot or why you
studied and you never understood why you studied. See I was never diagnosed with ADHD and I failed in school miserably. I would always hear “you never listen”, “you never sit still”. I wish I had a label instead of thinking I was just a lazy stupid child because by not being labelled ADHD, I still gave myself a label.

So yes, I labelled my child. I didn’t whisper he has ADHD behind his back. I empowered him. I told him his supper powers and his kryptonite. I educated myself instead of running from the label. I heard all the medication stories both pros and cons. I took powers into my own hands and it was the difference between me crying at night and me speaking to his teachers with authority, confidence and knowledge without being an emotional mother who makes excuses for her child.

Labels are not the enemy; people are. ADHD is not a disease; people are. Get your little ones evaluated, diagnosed and labelled but reject the bad. Even if you label your child correctly, people will still label them wrongly but at least you would not be intimidated by them.

My son knows exactly what is wrong with him at 6 years old and we work together to make him better. We work together for progress and we know we wouldn’t be where we are without Jesus our Savior. Needless to say, he is not ashamed of who he is. He can tell people why he is a certain way and he appreciates his parents for putting time and effort to training him.

ADHD is like a chainsaw that needs to be tamed. Use it the wrong way and it causes havoc. Use it the right way and it causes much productivity. Let’s not cage them. Lets tame them so they can run free in a calm and non threatening way… Okay, that's asking too much. Lets teach them to express themselves and teach them to bring awareness and at least spill 5 bottles instead of 50. Love your children. I intend to teach, educate and empower both adults and kids.

Disclaimer- I am a Christian but I respect all beliefs. I do not exclude or negate people's beliefs as my sole purpose is to help the children and parents cope in life. I do mention my faith a lot but do not let it discourage you. There is something for everyone. Furthermore, I am not a doctor; neither do I diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any diseases. I mainly inform, entertain and empower my audience.

Ozioma Obinani

I LOVE MY ADHD KID.

Yes, you heard right. I love my ADHD kid.
I am getting ahead of myself. It wasn't always like this. I only became this confident after years
of rejection from schools, day cares, summer camps and stares from the general public. Ironic,
right? But I will tell you my secret. It all started when the terrible three’s didn't want to end. I got
that call from the daycare that said my son didn't know what personal space was. Heck, I didn't
know what personal space was and wasn't that an irony when I learnt that the state of New
York, who hugs for a living, needs their personal space?

Anyway, the daycare director referred
me to have my son evaluated. I took her advice without much of a second opinion (don’t know
why but I am glad I did). He got enrolled into a community school and it was the best thing that
ever happened to him. The complaints stopped and he got services (something I took for
granted until he got to public school). Anyway, at the end of the preschool, they told me he
didn’t need to be in the program and he was ready for public school. And so the problems
began.

Let me tell you a brief history of my son. He is the spawn or superman, energizer bunny
and roadrunner combined. He refused to crawl and walked earlier than his legs were ready. Oh
wait, did I mention it took me only 5 minutes to push him out? So yeah he is the very definition
of hyper ADHD. He never sat still for a second, he was always demanding and screaming. If I
tell you I lost my baby weight after 2 weeks but gained a lifetime of weight when I was raising
him, well, yeah my whole pregnancy and labor was nothing compared to the 5 years of life he
lived on this earth.
I would get calls after calls. “Your son kicked someone, your son threw a stone at
someone, your son punched someone. Heck I once got a call saying my son put his leg out and
someone fell. It was one thing after the other. It was harder for me because I grew up in a
country where the community raised the children. He got kicked out of everything. I jokingly said
by the time he was 6, I would have enrolled him in all the daycares in New York. It was that bad.

One summer, I had to enroll him in 3 daycares to keep my sanity. Special Education would say
he didn't belong and general education would give me a laundry list of things he did. Oh he is
defiant, oh he needs to be on medication, oh you can't control your kid. I heard it all. I cried till I could cry no more. I couldn't find anyone to help me. I pulled my hair, I got sick, I couldn't figure
out why my son would repeat rules to me yet a second later, he would break them. I couldn’t
figure out why he would say, “I’m not jumping, I’m skipping”. I couldn't understand many things
but most of all I forgot that the God I prayed to, to have a smooth pregnancy and a flawless
labor/delivery, came through. Every prayer got answered. I delivered a boy (which was
awesome), 7.5oz which i prayed for because I couldn’t imagine pushing out a 10oz baby, which
runs in my family. I even prayed for him to be smart and my God, he was. So why did I forget
the God that did all that?

Well I did and I am glad I did, because when He came through, my
mourning turned into joy. My son is now 6, shy of his 7th birthday and I love my Adhd kid and I
want to take you on a journey and tell you why and how I got to where I am. So sit back, dry
your tears, get some popcorn and get ready to cry no more because I am going to talk about
labels; yup, the dreaded word. I am going to talk about the downs and downers and then the
ups.

Welcome to my blog and I hope you stay for the ride because you will love it and love your ADHD
kid and hopefully learn something about yourself along the way. I am glad you came. Sit back enjoy and relax. I aim at making the
stressful world you live in a more relaxable moment. I am a mom with an ADHD kid. I have been
there- years of crying, giving up, wondering what I did wrong, the ripping of hair, the feeling of desertion and talking to deaf ears and not knowing where to go, meeting dead ends, you know
the drill. I know how difficult it was for me. It doesn't have to be difficult for you.

I would love to help parents and all navigate through life as it is hard to not be joyful when you
hear too many negative things about your child, especially from the schools and society at large.

Disclaimer- I am a christian but I respect all beliefs. I do not exclude or negate people's beliefs
as my sole purpose is to help the children and parents cope in life. I do mention my faith a lot
but do not let it discourage you. There is something for everyone. Furthermore, I am not a
doctor; neither do I diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any diseases. I mainly inform, entertain and
empower my audience.

Ozioma Obinani